To J.D. Salinger:

"You're a real prince. You're a gentleman and a scholar, kid."
Rest in peace.

*remembrance/application of quote, courtesy of Steven Christensen.

Let me come home.

Home is whenever I'm with you.


I cannot stop listening to this song.

Bless, pt. 2.

Bless returning to Boston and sleeping in my own bed for the second time in one month. Bless subsequent sleepovers and shared futons, courtesy of the pup house. Bless journal clubs, private cello/mandolin concerts, and morning dance parties in that same house. Bless waking up to snowflakes and the whistling of a tea pot. Bless out of state visitors, planned and unplanned. Bless back rubs. Bless birthday girls, birthday breakfasts, birthday parties, birthday dinners, birthday cake. Bless MLK and the interwebs for allowing us to watch his speeches--he has been to the mountain top. Bless bubble tea and catch-up conversations. Bless family homes and family traditions.

Bless.

Bless bolt bus, and winter break, and trips to New York City. Bless earmuffs on blustery days, and gourmet licorice on every kind of day. Bless Ellis Island, and Lady Liberty, and ferry rides that make such sights possible. Bless sunsets over Brooklyn Bridge and Grimaldi's on the other side. Bless Patsy's (which I may like slightly more than Grimaldi's). Bless starbursts and Lindor truffles. Bless Becca, and Tay, and Bronson. Bless hospitality, and welcomings, and an abode at Cathedral Parkway. Bless Cafe Lalo, and Evelyn, and Francesco who still calls me Precious. Bless T. Time.

Winter Tales.

Reading now:

Resolutions via 2010.

Read 52 books (including the BoM and Works of Love).
Graduate.
Stay on the east coast, maybe.
Take more time to be quiet.
Be more consistent in my thoughts and actions.
Be a temple goer.

The perks of desert living.

The cold is not a piercing cold.

Straightened hair stays straight.

Dear everyone,

I haven't written for awhile. I am sorry. I have been tired, and a little bit busy--attending book readings, crafting papers, preparing presentations, other general finishing of my term, playing nanny, meeting Danny Ainge, visiting New York, flying across the country, and eating pizza.

Of my fall semester the truest thing I can say is that it was hard. The second truest thing I can say is that it was good: I liked my classes, my program, and my classmates.

Now after boarding a plane, and being in far too many cities in one day, I am in Provo, and have been for a little while. I am currently sitting on a couch in my family's home, where there is a picture of me in a frame, in the entry way, and where a 3 year old girl runs down the stairs in the morning yelling my name.

Since my return, my sister Charity has called me Pocahontas, my niece Eden has called me Charity, I've read 3 1/2 books, watched 2 movies, seen a small handful of friends, failed to settle Catan, had numerous kitchen and living room dance parties with my sisters/niece, admired the lights at Temple Square (though I was cold and maybe hungry), remembered that the Broadway is my favorite movie theater in all of the US and that Ritter Sport Marzipan is my favorite candy in all of the world, watched more sports in a single night than I watched in an entire year (Go Cougs/Lakers!), passed my 3 year mark home from my mission, and delivered cookies/Christmas caroled with my family.

I can feel how good it is to be here.

Sincerely,

Rachel

Today.

I went to bed at 4:30 am today, then woke up at 9:00 am today. I ate cereal today. I drank raspberry tea today. I finished an 18 page paper today. I am wearing my glasses today. I walked through wind and slush today. I took a taxi to school today. I am sitting in class today. I gave a 15 minute speech today. I ate vegan pizza today. I might get a hair cut today. I want to sleep today. Blah Blah Blah today.

Playing House, pt. 2

A very few of the darling conversations, recorded for posterity:

C (girl, age 2): Rachel?

Me: Yes, Courtney?

C: Penguins are better than ducks.

Me: Okay, Courtney.


S (girl, age 4): That's a fishy face. That's a kissy face. That's a grumpy face. That's a ghost face. That's a black ghost face. Thats a closing book face.


C: That's Sidney's water bottle. That's my water bottle. If Sidney drinks from mine, she'll get germs in it.


C: That plate is for Santa's cookies, but Santa's not real.


A (boy, age 7): (At the office). Oh, I just sit around and watch the news.

Me: Which news?

A: They're trying to wreck a car. That's the bad news. The good news is the president is getting married.


Me: I really love that book.

A (said totally sincerely): Are you going to marry the book?

Me: No. I want to marry a boy. Not a book.

A: You can always ask Santa for it for Christmas.

Me (unspoken): A boy or a book?

Playing house, pt. 1

For the second time this year, I spent three consecutive days and nights house/baby sitting for my friend Kristina's sister. The experience made me want children both more and less.

More:

Playtime at the park.

A child sitting in my lap.

Bedtime stories.

Prayer time.

General tucking in time.

Riding little bikes in basements.

Tender feelings from reading The Giving Tree.

Watching Harry Potter together and eating Pirate's Booty.

The magic of witnessing three children walk out into first snow.

Darling conversation after darling conversation.

Less:

Getting everyone in socks and shoes.

Getting everyone in coats/sweaters.

Getting everyone out the door.
Getting anyone to eat.
Getting anyone to eat the same thing.
Driving on unknown roads while three little ones and an annoying GPS voice simultaneously clamored for my attention.

Getting three children fed, bathed, and dressed for church by myself.

Subsequently sitting with those children in sacrament by myself.

Still, with these pictures in mind, I think the "mores" have it.

Fall reads, pt. 2.

Reading now:

Rachel-isms

"slash" (often used multiple times in the same sentence)

"maybe" (said next to definite statements, e.g., "I miss you, maybe")

"may or may not be true"

"-ish" (used to qualify anything)

"p.s." (said after, or as a statement)

"by the way" (said after, or as a statement)

"fun and funny"

"thank you in advance"

"not that awesome" (said of things I dislike)

a specific head nod with a specific facial expression

Small and simple things for which I am really grateful.

• Kindnesses upon kindnesses, from professors, from classmates, from family, from friends.
• A line from a book, "Everything is possible again."
• Another line from the same book, "If nothing matters, there's nothing to save."
• That God speaks to us in ways that we understand.
• Skype, and a 3 year old girl on the other end who knows my name and calls me aunt.
• Facebook and gmail and blogs.
• That it is not yet a terrible prospect to go outside/that it is not yet unbearably cold out.
• Scarves and hats and sweaters.
• My bicycle.
• Pizza.
• Having school classes I don't hate.
• Living in a city I am learning to love more all of the time.
• The (actual) color purple.
• The book The Little Prince.
• Priesthood blessings.
• Music shows.
• Trader Joe's.
• Maps.

Bad Poetry.

A few weekends ago Q and C had a party to warm their home. A game was played, that could conceivably have been lame, but wasn't. Each person had pen and paper in hand and jotted down the name of a (made-up) poem. These papers were folded and placed in a basket, then redistributed to the waiting masses. Each person then unfolded their new piece of paper and wrote a poem corresponding to the given title. Again papers were folded and returned to the basket. One by one a paper was drawn and a poem was performed, often with great spectacle. Below is a sampling of our poetry (graciously transcribed by Elizabeth):

"Death and Rumpelstiltskin"
Spin that scythe into gold baby!
The little man is coming for you.

"True Messengers"
True messengers
stab you in the
front
post haste
make waste
reduce
re-use
recycle
true messengers
could never have been
more so.

ps God bless you Al Gore
thank you for your global
warming beard & the interwebs.

"An Ode to Underage Love"
Movies and classes and
a few friends with cars
take a pre-sexed mind,
leaving its masses
and other masses wanting
another's masses of
the corporeal kind.
It's a beginning of a
goddamn odyssey

"Three"
one, two where do I go from here
do I fall off a cliff
do I start a new riff
to fly up a stream
dream a new dream
wishing to be free
or just count to three

"Mama'll Make it Better"
whenever i'm in dire need
mama makes it better
if it's cold and I start to freeze
mama brings me a sweater
but last winter mama died
all last winter i stayed inside
i sat at home all day and cried
mama can't make this better. :( [emoticon in original]

"Molecule Mania Hit West Philadelphia"
molecule mania hit west philadelphia
jack kerouac hit west philadelphia.
all his friends were there.
friend 1. friend 2. friend 3.
they drank coffee in donut shops
and ate donuts in coffee shops.
and wrote whatever words fell from their pen.

"Bareheaded Conquerer"
the bareheaded conquerer conquered
everything. conquered nothing.
who said a conquerer needs a
headdress? or a turban? or a tiara?
not this conquerer.
to the victor goes the spoils.

"I Still Believe in What has Fallen Apart"
I still believe in what has fallen apart,
but that shit don't believe in me.
–Get up! Put your ass back together!
–What are You talkin' about!
I don't know. I'm just talking.
But I'm hoping things work out.

In one month's time.

This semester will be behind me and home will be ahead.

Catalog la Seawright.

I love this card catalog.
















And this fortune.


From this bag. From the night Max and I visited Betty at the open house.

Right now.

I may or may not be writing a paper on awards given to romance fiction, particularly young adult romance fiction. I also may or may not be thinking about how much I hate group projects.

The Blind Side.

Tonight Quinn, Courtney, and I watched this movie, before our weekly dinner at Spikes. It was so, so good. That is the truest thing I can say. And also that Sandra Bullock was impressive, and it was sweet, and funny, and sometimes sad, and almost always tear inducing, but generally in really inspiring ways. I think we all left the theater wanting to be kinder. I left wanting to be kinder.

It has also been an amazing thing to have these friends in Boston. I knew them before, for years even. Still, there is something to be said for the closeness and knowledge that comes in riding trains together, standing in lines, and sitting in movie theaters before a film begins.

Last week.

1. The Saturday before last I dressed as a librarian for a pre Halloween party, which is admittedly two parts nerdy, one part awesome.
2. Later my library school friend asked incredulously, "You went as yourself?" I could only answer, "Yes. Yes I did."
3. Last Monday I had a boring class, but a good hallway/lobby conversation after that boring class.
4. Last Tuesday there was nothing to write home about.
5. Last Wednesday I watched a premier of Gentleman Broncos with Courtney and Quinn. It was funny enough.
6. Following, Jared Hess did a question and answer session, which was more than funny enough, particularly in its revelations of ridiculous real life experiences inspiring certain scenes, and his descriptions of Utah and Idaho to people in my current city.

7. I was also introduced to Spikes where I ate a decent (veggie) hot dog, made even better by good tunes and good company.
8. Last Thursday, Max and I went to Cambridge Public Library's open house. There were so many smiling people of varying ages. I liked it.
9. On the way out Betty gave us red tote bags bearing the library's logo.

10. They held a chocolate dipped fortune cookie with the fortune, "All of your questions will be answered in the new library."
11. Last Friday I heard E. Ballard speak in a beautiful Boston church.
12. Last Saturday I traveled to NY.
13. That Halloween nighttime I was a mime.
14. It rained on our parade, making my friends and I cold and wet. But it was still (kind of) fun.
15. In the midst of this, Chris, Tyler, and I wandered NY City streets through NY City crowds for over an hour searching for a restroom.

16. McDonalds was ultimately our salvation.
17. Last Sunday was Mormon church, a game of MASH, stairwells, scraped knees and hands, shared laughter, and picture taking.
18. This day I came back to Boston, which bus ride helped me finish my third book in three days.