Rachel-isms

"slash" (often used multiple times in the same sentence)

"maybe" (said next to definite statements, e.g., "I miss you, maybe")

"may or may not be true"

"-ish" (used to qualify anything)

"p.s." (said after, or as a statement)

"by the way" (said after, or as a statement)

"fun and funny"

"thank you in advance"

"not that awesome" (said of things I dislike)

a specific head nod with a specific facial expression

Small and simple things for which I am really grateful.

• Kindnesses upon kindnesses, from professors, from classmates, from family, from friends.
• A line from a book, "Everything is possible again."
• Another line from the same book, "If nothing matters, there's nothing to save."
• That God speaks to us in ways that we understand.
• Skype, and a 3 year old girl on the other end who knows my name and calls me aunt.
• Facebook and gmail and blogs.
• That it is not yet a terrible prospect to go outside/that it is not yet unbearably cold out.
• Scarves and hats and sweaters.
• My bicycle.
• Pizza.
• Having school classes I don't hate.
• Living in a city I am learning to love more all of the time.
• The (actual) color purple.
• The book The Little Prince.
• Priesthood blessings.
• Music shows.
• Trader Joe's.
• Maps.

Bad Poetry.

A few weekends ago Q and C had a party to warm their home. A game was played, that could conceivably have been lame, but wasn't. Each person had pen and paper in hand and jotted down the name of a (made-up) poem. These papers were folded and placed in a basket, then redistributed to the waiting masses. Each person then unfolded their new piece of paper and wrote a poem corresponding to the given title. Again papers were folded and returned to the basket. One by one a paper was drawn and a poem was performed, often with great spectacle. Below is a sampling of our poetry (graciously transcribed by Elizabeth):

"Death and Rumpelstiltskin"
Spin that scythe into gold baby!
The little man is coming for you.

"True Messengers"
True messengers
stab you in the
front
post haste
make waste
reduce
re-use
recycle
true messengers
could never have been
more so.

ps God bless you Al Gore
thank you for your global
warming beard & the interwebs.

"An Ode to Underage Love"
Movies and classes and
a few friends with cars
take a pre-sexed mind,
leaving its masses
and other masses wanting
another's masses of
the corporeal kind.
It's a beginning of a
goddamn odyssey

"Three"
one, two where do I go from here
do I fall off a cliff
do I start a new riff
to fly up a stream
dream a new dream
wishing to be free
or just count to three

"Mama'll Make it Better"
whenever i'm in dire need
mama makes it better
if it's cold and I start to freeze
mama brings me a sweater
but last winter mama died
all last winter i stayed inside
i sat at home all day and cried
mama can't make this better. :( [emoticon in original]

"Molecule Mania Hit West Philadelphia"
molecule mania hit west philadelphia
jack kerouac hit west philadelphia.
all his friends were there.
friend 1. friend 2. friend 3.
they drank coffee in donut shops
and ate donuts in coffee shops.
and wrote whatever words fell from their pen.

"Bareheaded Conquerer"
the bareheaded conquerer conquered
everything. conquered nothing.
who said a conquerer needs a
headdress? or a turban? or a tiara?
not this conquerer.
to the victor goes the spoils.

"I Still Believe in What has Fallen Apart"
I still believe in what has fallen apart,
but that shit don't believe in me.
–Get up! Put your ass back together!
–What are You talkin' about!
I don't know. I'm just talking.
But I'm hoping things work out.

In one month's time.

This semester will be behind me and home will be ahead.

Catalog la Seawright.

I love this card catalog.

And this fortune.


From this bag. From the night Max and I visited Betty at the open house.

Right now.

I may or may not be writing a paper on awards given to romance fiction, particularly young adult romance fiction. I also may or may not be thinking about how much I hate group projects.

The Blind Side.

Tonight Quinn, Courtney, and I watched this movie, before our weekly dinner at Spikes. It was so, so good. That is the truest thing I can say. And also that Sandra Bullock was impressive, and it was sweet, and funny, and sometimes sad, and almost always tear inducing, but generally in really inspiring ways. I think we all left the theater wanting to be kinder. I left wanting to be kinder.

It has also been an amazing thing to have these friends in Boston. I knew them before, for years even. Still, there is something to be said for the closeness and knowledge that comes in riding trains together, standing in lines, and sitting in movie theaters before a film begins.

Last week.

1. The Saturday before last I dressed as a librarian for a pre Halloween party, which is admittedly two parts nerdy, one part awesome.
2. Later my library school friend asked incredulously, "You went as yourself?" I could only answer, "Yes. Yes I did."
3. Last Monday I had a boring class, but a good hallway/lobby conversation after that boring class.
4. Last Tuesday there was nothing to write home about.
5. Last Wednesday I watched a premier of Gentleman Broncos with Courtney and Quinn. It was funny enough.
6. Following, Jared Hess did a question and answer session, which was more than funny enough, particularly in its revelations of ridiculous real life experiences inspiring certain scenes, and his descriptions of Utah and Idaho to people in my current city.

7. I was also introduced to Spikes where I ate a decent (veggie) hot dog, made even better by good tunes and good company.
8. Last Thursday, Max and I went to Cambridge Public Library's open house. There were so many smiling people of varying ages. I liked it.
9. On the way out Betty gave us red tote bags bearing the library's logo.

10. They held a chocolate dipped fortune cookie with the fortune, "All of your questions will be answered in the new library."
11. Last Friday I heard E. Ballard speak in a beautiful Boston church.
12. Last Saturday I traveled to NY.
13. That Halloween nighttime I was a mime.
14. It rained on our parade, making my friends and I cold and wet. But it was still (kind of) fun.
15. In the midst of this, Chris, Tyler, and I wandered NY City streets through NY City crowds for over an hour searching for a restroom.

16. McDonalds was ultimately our salvation.
17. Last Sunday was Mormon church, a game of MASH, stairwells, scraped knees and hands, shared laughter, and picture taking.
18. This day I came back to Boston, which bus ride helped me finish my third book in three days.

Pizza month.

The tradition began last November, when my friends Max and Elizabeth had a dream, a dream of eating pizza every day for an entire month. They made their dream a reality, and while I wasn't a full participant, I did join them for a lot of pizza, and discussions about pizza.

They decided to move this year's Pizza Month to October, a. to align it with Official Pizza Month, and b. because that month fell sooner, and they love their pizza.

I chose to join them in this delicious undertaking, as did our friends Quinn and Courtney. The rule is simple: pizza every day, at least once a day, for the month of October. I have been following the afore mentioned rule for the last 29 days, and will follow it for two more. It has been a fine mix of homemade, Zing Pizza, Veggie Planet, and Trader Joe's. I am not tired of this pizza eating. To the contrary, it is still what I want to eat, generally more than any other food. And while National Pizza Month may end, thankfully eating pizza will not.

Fall reads.

Reading now:

Things I love more than sleep.

The Perks of Being a Wallflower.

White Rabbits music show.

Robot pictures.

Internet friends.

Sarah Street.

Sleepovers.

Matching yawns.

Laughing.

Jamaica Plain.

Centre Street Cafe.

The Arnold Arboretum.

Where the Wild Things Are.

Singing loudly to Indigo Girls.

Singing loudly to Dar Williams.

Wrentham.

Homemade pizza.

Secret meetings.

Seven second hugs.

The phrase: "That's not what Kant says."

The phrase: "I soured on Hegel in my second year."

Contraband literature.

Passing notes.

Umbrella sharing.

First snow.

Walks in that first snow.

Private cello concerts.

Cookies made by Beth.

Dreams of journal clubs.

This last weekend.

Quiet place.

Bapst is my refuge.

Facts.

1. I have been vegetarian for exactly one year.
2. Within that year the longest I have gone without candy is two weeks.
3. I am not fond of fall's recently bordering on winter temperatures.
4. They already make me want to stay in as much as possible, and make it infinitely harder for me to leave my bed and/or house.
5. I am trying my best to combat these feeling by putting as many warm things inside of me as possible (think herbal tea and soup) and by putting as many warm things on me as possible (think scarves and caps and sweaters).
6. It is a little bit working.
7. I have eaten pizza every day since the 1st of October for pizza month.
8. For some reason this reminds me of undergrad and Club PB & J with Spencer and Davis, where our motto was "I eat PB & J all day everyday."
9. It also reminds me of other things I do in my life on repeat.

10. My publishing class was guest lectured this week by 2007's Hottest Man in Children's Literature, Scott Magoon.
11. He is still handsome in 2009, and the art director of Houghton Mifflin's children's department as well as an illustrator on the side.
12. After class I went to the Coop where I judged books by their cover. Or at least their design, per an assignment.

13. My favorite designed book was called Three Questions.

14. I once spent an entire summer reading nothing but Kierkegaard and feminist theology, and am now spending an entire fall reading almost nothing but young adult literature.

15. For the latter reason I am pretty sure my local librarians must either think I am 16 or ridiculous.
16. I wasn't really bothered by this until I had to read Gossip Girl.
17. That day I felt utter shame, as well as a strong urge to explain myself by muttering something like, "I'm really smart, I read philosophy..." But I remained quiet.

18. Yesterday I stayed up all hours of the night to finish The Perks of Being a Wallflower. It was simple, and sad, and happy all at the same time, which made for a very beautiful, tear inducing book.

On friendship.

This last weekend Hediyeh and Pete came from New York, and Lia Kim came from New Haven. It was nice simply to be with them, regardless of what we were doing. This was true even when we did very little--a walk here, a feast of grilled cheese and tomato soup there. Most of our time was spent talking, and also listening. Ofttimes the wind blew strongly in the background. Still, in those conversations I was reminded just how much I love being with people who have known me the length of time that these friends have. There is something so comforting in the depth and steadiness of relationships spanning years.

Then on Monday I basked in the glory of all that is Katie, and was deeply and irrevocably reminded of the beauty of new friendships--or newer friendships--and found myself amazed at the way nascent relationships may feel like they have spanned years. While previously camping in New Hampshire together, just minutes before falling asleep, Katie told me that friendship is "laughing and crying and thinking." I am convinced that she is right, and we have been all of those things for each other, and will continue to be so, thus providing the same sense of steadiness and depth. Thankfully Monday was a laughing day (and maybe a thinking day) where we could just make food and lay in my room on our respective computers for hours, warm and full and happy.

Tyson's band.

Today I learned Arson Car's afore pictured ep, Vestiges, is available on itunes. It was a nice discovery. Namely because its good, but also because the singer is important to me. Like a brother. I saw him every day of my life before moving to Boston, and he is one of the people I missed the very most after getting here. Now he is in England studying sort of the same thing I am studying, which is nice too, because his desire to go (as well as his previous desires) helped him understand my own dilemma of library school over law school perfectly. He also sent me this encouraging article a very long time ago. Thank you, T.H.

Critical Mass Boston.

This happened awhile ago. In fact, the last Friday of the last month ago. I don't even really remember quite what I wanted to say, except that it was lovely, and exhilarating, and I could not stop smiling. It also did so much to raise Boston in my estimation--something about seeing downtown in a more personal way, and basking in the camaraderie of fellow bikers. My friend went the previous month and told me that the people were the same as the people in Provo, with slightly different faces and different names. He was right. Or mostly right. Provo Critical Mass has more girls.

There were a plethora of skinny jeans and plaid shirts, bikes with bells, bikes with bubble machines, bikes hooked up to music players, etc., as well as an impressive biker who drummed the entire time. There were also cries of "Whose streets? Our streets," "Two wheels good, four wheels bad" (said to a motorcyclist), encouraging honks and cheers, not-so-encouraging honks and cheers, and questions from curious passerbys wondering what our bike ride was for (as if critical mass has to be for something). I liked one boy's answer: "For FUN!"

True. So true.