Cora Baby, Week 1

Likes:
Solly Baby
Bathtime
Eating time
Playtime with daddy

Dislikes:
Sleeping anywhere that isn't mama's chest
Hiccups

Unto us a child was born.

Unto us a daughter was given. And her name shall be called:

When I was in New York, I met a woman who didn't look at herself in the mirror for one year.

For an art project slash life project. When she first looked at herself in the mirror, she wept.

She showed me the video, and told me that there is something very powerful about looking at yourself when you are weeping, or when you are mourning. She said it allows you to feel empathy for yourself: it allows you to love yourself. "Double pain, and double relief too."


OYP_VIDEO IN THE BOX N˚2 from Anita Sto on Vimeo

Maybe because of this, I documented S and I, seconds after finding out last night's heavy news. I wanted to know what our grief looks like. Suffice it to say that today is another day for pictures and mirror looking.

I'll always love you, New York.

Let me count the ways.

1. Welcomings.
2. Late night visits.
3. Morning strolls.
4. Prospect Park. Central Park.
5. Bird watching.
6. Bike rides.
7. Pizza.
8. Crepes.
9. Brunch.
10. Cony Isle. Brighton Beach.
11. Faux Mr. Softee's.
12. My girls. 
13. Musical feasting (courtesy of Jess and Tommy).
14. Persian New Year.

+More.

Brooklyn, Brooklyn, take me in.

I'll see you in the morning time.

When I was 26.

February

March

April

May

June

July

August

September

October

November

December

January

February

Yesterday for the first time in my life I was grateful for East to West Coast time differences.

It was one of those nights where you couldn't sleep and needed to talk, but didn't know who you could talk to—who would be awake. And then you remembered: the person you trusted the very most in the world lives in New York when you live in California, making your 2:30 in the morning his 5:30. And lucky for you this individual wakes up extraordinarily early. So you could talk. For 1 hour and 41 seconds before he had to get ready for work. And you are safe.

February fourteenth, pt. 2.

This year I lay on a couch in New York City wearing clothes I wore the day before, watching the Truman Show, and eating brownies made by someone that I love and ice cream made by Ben and Jerrys. The brownies were accompanied by song, and carried a single candle in the middle. I blew it out and made a wish. It was 1:37 exactly. The wish came true almost immediately (though not necessarily in the way I would have hoped). A few hours later I boarded a bus back to Boston--the land of cobblestone paths and granite curbs--to the realization that I am always boarding something. I am always in between.

Every book/person I have loved the most in my life.

Lately I wish that everyone I love has read all of the same books as me, so instead of fumbling to explain my feelings, I could say, "Today I feel like Anna Karenina in the scene when..."

Yesterday I might have felt like Levin.

To the person I most wish to communicate with, I would explain, "I am the fox and you are the little prince when the little prince says goodbye." Or perhaps, "I am every character in The History of Love." Then, then I might be understood.

Bless.

Bless bolt bus, and winter break, and trips to New York City. Bless earmuffs on blustery days, and gourmet licorice on every kind of day. Bless Ellis Island, and Lady Liberty, and ferry rides that make such sights possible. Bless sunsets over Brooklyn Bridge and Grimaldi's on the other side. Bless Patsy's (which I may like slightly more than Grimaldi's). Bless starbursts and Lindor truffles. Bless Becca, and Tay, and Bronson. Bless hospitality, and welcomings, and an abode at Cathedral Parkway. Bless Cafe Lalo, and Evelyn, and Francesco who still calls me Precious. Bless T. Time.

Dear everyone,

I haven't written for awhile. I am sorry. I have been tired, and a little bit busy--attending book readings, crafting papers, preparing presentations, other general finishing of my term, playing nanny, meeting Danny Ainge, visiting New York, flying across the country, and eating pizza.

Of my fall semester the truest thing I can say is that it was hard. The second truest thing I can say is that it was good: I liked my classes, my program, and my classmates.

Now after boarding a plane, and being in far too many cities in one day, I am in Provo, and have been for a little while. I am currently sitting on a couch in my family's home, where there is a picture of me in a frame, in the entry way, and where a 3 year old girl runs down the stairs in the morning yelling my name.

Since my return, my sister Charity has called me Pocahontas, my niece Eden has called me Charity, I've read 3 1/2 books, watched 2 movies, seen a small handful of friends, failed to settle Catan, had numerous kitchen and living room dance parties with my sisters/niece, admired the lights at Temple Square (though I was cold and maybe hungry), remembered that the Broadway is my favorite movie theater in all of the US and that Ritter Sport Marzipan is my favorite candy in all of the world, watched more sports in a single night than I watched in an entire year (Go Cougs/Lakers!), passed my 3 year mark home from my mission, and delivered cookies/Christmas caroled with my family.

I can feel how good it is to be here.

Sincerely,

Rachel

Rachel-isms

"slash" (often used multiple times in the same sentence)

"maybe" (said next to definite statements, e.g., "I miss you, maybe")

"may or may not be true"

"-ish" (used to qualify anything)

"p.s." (said after, or as a statement)

"by the way" (said after, or as a statement)

"fun and funny"

"thank you in advance"

"not that awesome" (said of things I dislike)

a specific head nod with a specific facial expression

Facts.

1. I have been vegetarian for exactly one year.
2. Within that year the longest I have gone without candy is two weeks.
3. I am not fond of fall's recently bordering on winter temperatures.
4. They already make me want to stay in as much as possible, and make it infinitely harder for me to leave my bed and/or house.
5. I am trying my best to combat these feeling by putting as many warm things inside of me as possible (think herbal tea and soup) and by putting as many warm things on me as possible (think scarves and caps and sweaters).
6. It is a little bit working.
7. I have eaten pizza every day since the 1st of October for pizza month.
8. For some reason this reminds me of undergrad and Club PB & J with Spencer and Davis, where our motto was "I eat PB & J all day everyday."
9. It also reminds me of other things I do in my life on repeat.

10. My publishing class was guest lectured this week by 2007's Hottest Man in Children's Literature, Scott Magoon.
11. He is still handsome in 2009, and the art director of Houghton Mifflin's children's department as well as an illustrator on the side.
12. After class I went to the Coop where I judged books by their cover. Or at least their design, per an assignment.

13. My favorite designed book was called Three Questions.

14. I once spent an entire summer reading nothing but Kierkegaard and feminist theology, and am now spending an entire fall reading almost nothing but young adult literature.

15. For the latter reason I am pretty sure my local librarians must either think I am 16 or ridiculous.
16. I wasn't really bothered by this until I had to read Gossip Girl.
17. That day I felt utter shame, as well as a strong urge to explain myself by muttering something like, "I'm really smart, I read philosophy..." But I remained quiet.

18. Yesterday I stayed up all hours of the night to finish The Perks of Being a Wallflower. It was simple, and sad, and happy all at the same time, which made for a very beautiful, tear inducing book.

NYC

I got into NYC Monday night to see Becca. Last time we were in that city together we were both visitors--I on my spring break from Simmons, and she, interviewing at Columbia for film school. Thankfully she was accepted, and now as of last Wednesday, is an NY resident. I like that permanence and the shortened distance to Boston.

On this visit, we spent the first night traveling to Brooklyn's Ikea with Lee and walking so many steps. Becca had to balance how much she could purchase to furnish her as of yet unfurnished apartment with how much the three of us could carry on the long ride home. We came away with an odd assortment of things: a blanket for a bed that has yet to arrive, three rugs, two lamps, dishes, three pairs of colorful scissors, a scale, and hazlenut chocolate.

Becca had to work on a new draft of a script, so my second day was spent with Bronson, riding bikes from South Street Seaport, up the west coast along Riverside Park to 96th. It made me hot and probably dirty, but happy. We witnessed so many of those small, but beautiful moments that make up a life. Picnics, basketball and baseball games, children playing in water, parents watching nearby, etc., etc. After this we made my second trip to Brooklyn in two days. Bronson wanted to see the botanical garden. It was pretty, and worth wanting to see. Next we had good pita sandwiches at a place called Pita Pan Cafe--which name admittedly made me like it even more. At nighttime we heard Regina Spektor play for free at a Barnes and Noble. There I met back up with Becca and Lee, who were found in the chess section. We ate dinner together, along with Tyson's cousin who just moved to the city the day before, for her own grad school program.

This day Becca and I just slept, and woke, and took turns straightening our hair to take silly matching pictures in response to our friend Jendar's. They are funny--if only to us. Then we ate our daily pizza at Pinnacle with Lee, before boarding separate trains.

Now I am on a bus headed back to Boston, where I will sleep in my own bed precisely one night before flying west. Salt Lake and Provo first, then a road trip to LA the next day with Meg and Abby to celebrate Abby's birthday and also to meet baby Henry and see Pegah and Hyrum. It should be a dream.