Friday, April 30, 2010


Sometimes I fly to Utah after turning in 47 pages of papers and giving two speeches in one day. Sometimes I talk to Derik on the phone the night before he gets married. Sometimes Zach and I drive to the temple together in the morning. Sometimes it is snowing hard in April. Sometimes we are in a hurry and run through that snow to get to the temple doors. Sometimes we have our recommends ready, but the gentleman at the desk speaks slowly, and tells us we are in the wrong place. Sometimes we exit the doors, and continue running in the snow through a crowd of people before reaching the right building. Sometimes we also run through the halls of the temple to make it to the sealing on time. Sometimes I feel a little bad about this later. Sometimes Derik and Ingrid walk in 20 seconds after we are seated. Sometimes Zach and I hold hands while our best friend is getting married. Sometimes the ceremony is so beautiful I cry. Sometimes it also makes me think, "This is the right place to get married." Sometimes at the reception I catch the boquet. Sometimes I feel happier than I ever remember feeling.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

On Rand.

I will not say everything I think about her here, but I will say that I think she is a good philosopher, and that if she believed in God she would be a better philosopher. I will also say that I can’t stop reading her books, even to the detriment of my other activities/relationships. To demonstrate, I have carried—and read—her hefty volumes in the following places: at church, during class, during a concert, at the gym, on multiple trains, on multiple buses, while walking, in my bed, in at least one vegan restaurant, and so forth.

Music is my boyfriend/my nyquil/my heart.

I have gone to 5 music shows in a week and a half. All while trying to finish my final papers/projects/presentations.

I am getting too old for this.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Monday, April 19, 2010

Homesick, cause I no longer know what home is.

Several times a day I find myself thinking, "I want to go home. I want to go home." [One day it was so strong that I thought, "Why do I even leave my house?"] I no longer remember when this started. Maybe two summers ago when I was hiking with Will and Kyle at 3 in the morning and our flashlight died. Maybe on my mission.

Regardless, at some point I realized this incessant thought wasn't necessarily referring to my home. Before Boston it just needed to be a place with a bed and the internet. Post Boston it largely meant Utah. Now I am unsure what it means, and this troubles me.

Things I am really into.

As of late:
Documentaries. Sparkling water. Spaghetti squash. Kale salad. Dried apples. Girl scout cookies. Running. Regina Spektor music videos. Fanfarlo. Ayn Rand. Graduating. Precocious three year olds. Breakfast clubs. Marathon Monday.

Weekend visitors. Spring weather. Crocuses and daffodils. Wrentham. Front porches. Conversations on those porches. Homemade pizza. Birthday cake ice cream. Sunday strolls. Kierkegaard. Roof top views. Sleepovers. Music shows.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Red Letter Days

April 27 Fly West
April 29 Derik and Ingrid's wedding
May 2 Fly East
May 8 Last day of classes
May 14 Graduation
June 1 Stars
June 2 Kings of Convenience
June 3 The National
June 12 Hediyeh and Pete's wedding